(no subject)

I'm really dissatisfied with my dealings with people lately. I have this odd sense that I should, and am expected to, hold myself back, in check, so as not to unsettle, offend, or whatever, others. I suspect it feeds in to my desire to be protective of others; in my dealings, the only thing I can be certain about is myself, so I end up protecting them from me. Of course, I know most of it is fear; if I don't fully engage, I am less exposed and can more easily get out. If I thought for a second that I knew where the fear lived, I'd seriously consider self-trepenation.