(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

I need to find a way to make things that are less than satisfying, but currently necessary, more satisfying. If large pieces of my life will be consumed, surely there has to be a way to make that consumption less grating. I don't think all of this is related to constant performance of a known untruth, but I strongly suspect that's a part of it. I just... I just want dealings with people that are more than ankle deep most of the time. I want to feel like I can answer honestly when someone asks me how I'm doing, and take the time to hear an honest answer when I ask it (in most cases, I really do want to hear the answer). I want to be able to connect to the world (people and not-people) without feeling like I have to hold back, to hold in.

I think I need the other half of the battle; this part, I know.