Fuck it. I had a nicely put response to this, and LiveJournal managed to eat it, even though I copied it.
I don't think I can rewrite it now, but the gist of it was that I often feel the frustration that I interpret your post to be expressing.
My view of things, though, is that no one starts out navigating. Navigating, to me, implies you already know that lay of the land, so to speak. We have to start out exploring. It's like one of those video games where the layout of the terrain is blacked out until you've explored it. As you progress, bit by bit you uncover a map. To progress, you have to move around and explore, taking the chance that you'll run into traps and monsters, but also unexpected good things. It's a scary process, and some people more than others seem more fearless of, or less sensitive to, groping about in the dark.
As you explore, you begin to learn the lay of things--draw a mental map--until you are then able to begin navigating. Of course, life is change and you can never be sure exactly how to navigate. Having the map doesn't mean the road is still there or is passable. So there's always at least a modicum of scary exploration.
It makes me feel better to think that the problem lies in something I can work on--learning to make bigger, more assured exploratory steps--than something impossible--finding the unwritten map that doesn't exist anywhere in full.
We all know our own missteps all too well. But usually others only see our progress. And the trail we leave, but if that goes all over the place, they just think us curious and/or thorough. I think. :-)
no subject
I don't think I can rewrite it now, but the gist of it was that I often feel the frustration that I interpret your post to be expressing.
My view of things, though, is that no one starts out navigating. Navigating, to me, implies you already know that lay of the land, so to speak. We have to start out exploring. It's like one of those video games where the layout of the terrain is blacked out until you've explored it. As you progress, bit by bit you uncover a map. To progress, you have to move around and explore, taking the chance that you'll run into traps and monsters, but also unexpected good things. It's a scary process, and some people more than others seem more fearless of, or less sensitive to, groping about in the dark.
As you explore, you begin to learn the lay of things--draw a mental map--until you are then able to begin navigating. Of course, life is change and you can never be sure exactly how to navigate. Having the map doesn't mean the road is still there or is passable. So there's always at least a modicum of scary exploration.
It makes me feel better to think that the problem lies in something I can work on--learning to make bigger, more assured exploratory steps--than something impossible--finding the unwritten map that doesn't exist anywhere in full.
We all know our own missteps all too well. But usually others only see our progress. And the trail we leave, but if that goes all over the place, they just think us curious and/or thorough. I think. :-)