adrienmundi | (no subject)

(no subject)

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I don't believe that anything is meant to be, and I don't necessarily believe things will automatically get better, either locally or globally. I'm trying to come to terms with that in a way that does not open up a pit of nihilism beneath me, but that still gives me active hope that things can be made better, for me, for others, for as many as possible through intentional engagement and hard work. My hope is to craft a strong, flexible tool with which to do some of this work, while maybe removing the impossible ideal of "natural" progressivism against which to always measure and fail, and to remove the possibility of assumptive passivity, that even without such work, things will work out "as they should".

Fuck that. I'm not off the hook because things are hard, maybe impossible; I'm on the hook for hope and effort.

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you think so much, i wish i could give you a hug

i bet when you think it doesn't hurt as much as when i think

Don't know how much it hurts when you do it, but there's plenty of pain when I do it.

oh... darn, i guess

For what it's worth, the work is well worth doing. The Burn threw me over the precipice of belief after a seriously long roll of the rock up the hill. I can't say with confidence that I am an atheist anymore and that's a staggering thing to admit.

I don't know what to do with it, but I'm rolling up my sleeves, and allowing myself to have hope. Wild stuff.

(Forgive my inability to read or write tonight.)

I'm an empiricist, but an honest one; I'm obliged to pay attention to all my senses, all input, rather than just those called out regularly.

That is a very good thing.

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