remember

[adrienmundi]

I need to remember that there's a difference between standing up for myself and being mean or an asshole. It's all too easy for me to forget this fundamental aspect of self care, since so many have used "mean", "angry", and similar words to keep me in place when I tried to assert my self, rights or boundaries. It's not like I don't have excellent role models close at hand. Automatically giving way or accommodating the offender should not be my unquestioned default.

Comments

[fairyhead.livejournal.com]

It's really hard. It's scary to change and people will tend to push back because everybody fears change at some level. I get the 'really fucking mean' moniker and 'high maintenance' slam. And, it's a weird balance - there are times when people unfairly push and there are times when one's perspective is skewed. I'm not always good at knowing which is which. I think all you can really do try to keep tabs on when things get uncomfortable and try to work through what's going on with all involved. I'm still really struggling with that, so don't have any good pointers or anything.