Curious

[adrienmundi]

Speaking with the most beloved about issues underscored a curious point; I feel guilty for wanting to look like I want to look.

I don't think most people feel guilty for, say, wanting to lose weight/tone up, or for wanting a change in hair color/cut, for wearing colored contact lenses, etc. I suspect it's because my look desires cross "gender boundaries" (which are annoying social conventions, not biological imperatives to me) that the feeling of guilt (ie, inertia powered by the fear of it being "wrong", "superficial", etc that reinforces that which I hate). I hate that; I should be able to work past it, but guilt and fear do an amazing job of holding me in place.

Comments

[champignon.livejournal.com]

Well, I feel slightly guilty for loving my short, stylin haircut that I have to get trimmed up all the time, because it costs more money than the long hair with which I felt frumpy.

But I think I, er, have some guilt problems anyway.

We all want to look certain ways. Most people make efforts to maintain certain appearance. There is a whole spectrum of levels of maintenance of appearance, and I think all are fine until it starts really affecting one's behavior/priorities. (for example, someone who wouldn't leave the house because their hair wouldn't do right strikes me as being vain.) Like fairyhead said the other day, you are far from unhealthily fixated on your appearance. Hell, if you were a vain person, I doubt you would have sat in your living room with hair dye on your head. :-)

Just my curiousity... what do you want to look like? Is it something you can articulate, or just something that you'll know when you get there?

[adrienmundi]

To the extent that I can articulate it at the moment, I would aspire to look more girlish than boyish; unfortunately, I'm not sure that that's either likely or possible. Do note, however, that I make quite the distincion between girl/ish and female/woman-ish.

[casketgirl.livejournal.com]

I've had guilt issues about my weight. Mostly I feel that maybe I could have been as happy/happier when I was larger if I could have just accepted it. I sometimes feel bad for wanting to be skinnier because I think i'm letting myself be brainwashed by the media. Ideally, as long as my weight is within a healthy range, it shouldn't matter? Right? That's what I tell myself, but it doesn't stop me from dieting and wanting to be a certain size or number.

[irana.livejournal.com]

You know yourself better than anyone else. Tell me something. Do social standard truly dictate what you do to maintain your own happiness? Or is that the leftover training/programming from earlier parts of life?