the way i see it, it's not losing if it works for you, & we both know that you're not going to suddenly lose all the history & perspective you've gained over the past years & become totally oblivious to non-binary spaces or politics or feelings. the way your personal life plays out does not necessarily have to be by default reinforcing that system. you can live your own life & still work for non-binary ways of being.

but it's hard when the personal comes up against the political in this way. i think about this a lot too.