Twice last week I had to wear a sports bra to work, lest my breasts show in ways I wasn't comfortable with. I've done it before, but usually a one off, and been anxious about it the whole day, usually ending in me getting rid of the shirt that is made for more traditionally "male" chests. Last week, though, two different shirts, two different bras, and less anxiety.

What's weird is that I've been off my hormones for a couple of months, so this isn't new growth due to them. I have gotten a little softer (poor diet, lack of exercise), but it seems weird to think fat is moving to my breasts on its own, with no endocrinological guidance.

The disappointing irony is that I always thought I'd be happy and excited by the need to wear a bra. Instead, it's yet another support for hiding, for pretending that I fit in the world in ways I'm supposed to fit.