Hmmmm

As sparked by conversations with those who matter most, the realization that there is what feels like Unfinished Business with some is frustrating. Closure, anyone?*


*sparked by nothing in particular, other than the realization that those who matter most are right more often than not

What happened here?

Continuing the attempted past-mining, with not quite the right tools:

Around the rough time period when I was between 5-9, something (or several somethings) happened, or at least seem like it/they happened. Sometimes, when in the midst of a particularly bad "migraine" (called that for lack of a better term. symptoms include: bilateral halluinations; occasional vertigo; difficulty using language/dissolution of language links (words coming out have little to no relation to words in brain); some pain; slipping into that weird not-quite-real state that's somewhere between waking, sleeping, and something else) I stumble into a patch of something that feels like memory, wherein traditional chronologies and words seem to not apply. The few times I've had induced chemical hallucinogenic experiences, there's been a bit of this, as well. Impressions are linked to sounds, images, odd senses of space and texture. The best way I can almost describe it is that all sorts of sensory impressions are jumbled together and assigned "meaning" in a self referential way, and linked to other such conglomerations, kind of like a private language that I've lost the ability to interpret, much less use.

It seems to link to: a stretch of road between Gardendale and Morris, AL (just off I-65); my parents; a small, white, plaster walled room with no doors or windows, but the awful living room furniture we had when I lived in Lawrenceville in 1974; my aunt (the chihuahua, mother of my one cool relative); a warm, veloury texture and a sense of convexity; an odd clicking sound; some guy with a blonde bowl cut; an odd, violet-purpley color filling the shadows; car travel; and other stuff I can't remember right now. All of this isn't linked in one "grouping", but it's recurrent, nonetheless. There are several "groups", probably more than I can count, but they all link to one another in such a way that, if I start trying to follow them, they accelerate, and I end up feeling like I'm going around and around and around, faster and faster.

I can't help but feel like this is related to some of the other weirdness I've been talking about here lately. I don't understand it, yet, and I'm damned impatient to do so.

Argh...

It looks like identity politics will never die. I am just about dead tired of people of one group asserting that power structures only oppress them. Even if there was only one power structure, and only two groups, if there is oppression it necessarily oppresses both groups (though the oppression may be different is a given).

As has been said before, and will likely be said again and again, people are an ass.