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Nov. 2nd, 2003 03:57 pmScheduling things is crap. That's about all that can be said about that.
Nov. 2nd, 2003
Authority and signifiers
Nov. 2nd, 2003 05:22 pmEvery time I think I understand one or either of the above, I'm reminded I don't, really, at all, particularly if I am the subject of said investigation.
Relatively recently, I was in the company of friends and heard one of them say something like, "Well, let me ask her". I couldn't figure out who they were talking about, until circumstances made it clear they were talking about me. In hindsight, this should have been something that made me feel good, but it made me very uncomfortable, like I was involved in a charade of some sort, and surely to be discovered and punished for it.
It was at that moment that I think I understood (or possibly re-understood) the pains transfolk seem to take with signifiers, and I think it hinges on the concept of authorization. ZB, if an innie appears in public in jeans, t shirt, no makeup, etc., there's no question (usually) that it's a 'woman', from either within or without, and I would suggest that it's becuase of the authorization from being an innie; after all, everyone knows that innie='woman', so what's the fuss?
On the other hand, should an outie 'woman' appear in public in jeans, t shirt, no makeup, I suspect there would be a great deal of questioning (I posit that it would be particularly strong from within, but that's projection on my part) because of the lack of the unseem, but assumed, authorization of innie='woman'. Thus, the addition of signifiers, in a mathematics of substitution: enough overt, external signifiers will make certain that the outside will read 'woman', and that will make up for the unseen but assumed authorization.
Of course, I don't think this is so in all cases. As mentioned above, there's more than a fair amount of projection in the assumption and the conclusion both, but there also seems to be a reflection of some degree of accuracy, at least from my perspective, at the moment.
I feel guilty when applying 'girl' labels to myself,as though I'm not allowed to do so, and yet I chafe and resent the application of 'boy' labels. It doesn't leave me with a lot of room to do much of anything. I don't know what I can do about the former, though it seems like it should be the one most under my control. It's that damned desire, too, mixing in with questions of authority. Sure, "Because I said so/I want it" should be enough, but it doesn't seem to be, and I don't know how, or what, to change to make that so. The latter, well... that's the question of signifiers, and with the addition of my well above average height (75"/191cm), it seems like even more than the lack of biological authority is probably required.
Ironically, plumbing is so not an issue, specifically, save for the seeming rock solid foundation for authority. What a mess my head is.
Relatively recently, I was in the company of friends and heard one of them say something like, "Well, let me ask her". I couldn't figure out who they were talking about, until circumstances made it clear they were talking about me. In hindsight, this should have been something that made me feel good, but it made me very uncomfortable, like I was involved in a charade of some sort, and surely to be discovered and punished for it.
It was at that moment that I think I understood (or possibly re-understood) the pains transfolk seem to take with signifiers, and I think it hinges on the concept of authorization. ZB, if an innie appears in public in jeans, t shirt, no makeup, etc., there's no question (usually) that it's a 'woman', from either within or without, and I would suggest that it's becuase of the authorization from being an innie; after all, everyone knows that innie='woman', so what's the fuss?
On the other hand, should an outie 'woman' appear in public in jeans, t shirt, no makeup, I suspect there would be a great deal of questioning (I posit that it would be particularly strong from within, but that's projection on my part) because of the lack of the unseem, but assumed, authorization of innie='woman'. Thus, the addition of signifiers, in a mathematics of substitution: enough overt, external signifiers will make certain that the outside will read 'woman', and that will make up for the unseen but assumed authorization.
Of course, I don't think this is so in all cases. As mentioned above, there's more than a fair amount of projection in the assumption and the conclusion both, but there also seems to be a reflection of some degree of accuracy, at least from my perspective, at the moment.
I feel guilty when applying 'girl' labels to myself,as though I'm not allowed to do so, and yet I chafe and resent the application of 'boy' labels. It doesn't leave me with a lot of room to do much of anything. I don't know what I can do about the former, though it seems like it should be the one most under my control. It's that damned desire, too, mixing in with questions of authority. Sure, "Because I said so/I want it" should be enough, but it doesn't seem to be, and I don't know how, or what, to change to make that so. The latter, well... that's the question of signifiers, and with the addition of my well above average height (75"/191cm), it seems like even more than the lack of biological authority is probably required.
Ironically, plumbing is so not an issue, specifically, save for the seeming rock solid foundation for authority. What a mess my head is.