![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Feb. 23rd, 2005
book report - incomplete
Feb. 23rd, 2005 02:35 pmSo, I can (almost, barely, sort of) manage to read Butler if I don't take it as directly pertinent to me, my life, or my experiences, but instead as something of general, theoretical interest. That this seems to run directly counter to Butler's style and stated intent isn't lost on me.
I'm finding her surprisingly fixated on norms as they exist, and in a certain way, defending them. I, unsurprisingly, have issues with this. I also get really irritated at her seeming conflation of transsexualism and transgenderism, of them being functionally the same thing save for how one negotiates the idea of surgery/hormones. She also seems to operate under the assumption that all/most readers live in normative but liberal utopias in which insurance or state assistance will cover "transition costs" (without ever questioning, seemingly, if "transition" is recursive, progressive, etc), and seems to hyperfixate on this as almost an apology for retaining diagnosis of GID. I don't get that, really, as general instantiation of those criteria seem so limited as to be exceedingly far from generalizable.
Obviously, I don't do such a good job of reading her work as not pertinent to me, and I'm not sure I should, since descriptions and related areas of her scrutiny seem to touch upon large, contentious aspects of my own life (even though she either explicitly excludes me, or forces me into definitions to which I strenuously object, in her enumeration of those she intends to cover). Why is it that the more I read of theorists and gender stuff, the more disillusioned and cynical I become?
I'm finding her surprisingly fixated on norms as they exist, and in a certain way, defending them. I, unsurprisingly, have issues with this. I also get really irritated at her seeming conflation of transsexualism and transgenderism, of them being functionally the same thing save for how one negotiates the idea of surgery/hormones. She also seems to operate under the assumption that all/most readers live in normative but liberal utopias in which insurance or state assistance will cover "transition costs" (without ever questioning, seemingly, if "transition" is recursive, progressive, etc), and seems to hyperfixate on this as almost an apology for retaining diagnosis of GID. I don't get that, really, as general instantiation of those criteria seem so limited as to be exceedingly far from generalizable.
Obviously, I don't do such a good job of reading her work as not pertinent to me, and I'm not sure I should, since descriptions and related areas of her scrutiny seem to touch upon large, contentious aspects of my own life (even though she either explicitly excludes me, or forces me into definitions to which I strenuously object, in her enumeration of those she intends to cover). Why is it that the more I read of theorists and gender stuff, the more disillusioned and cynical I become?
tv is a mirror tonight
Feb. 23rd, 2005 09:58 pmIt started off being a fnord evening, where fnords were binary gender roles/expectations for me. They were everywhere, and it amazed me that others could ignore them. There was a period of time in which I was certain I would have to abandon all broadcast media to escape, but then made the decision to get lost in Lost (though even that took work).
I know part of the appeal for me is the promise of a fresh start in a magical/mysterious place of immense natural beauty, but then the implications of a lack of a certain level of technology, and what that would mean to/for me came to the surface. No hormones, no razors and I would fall victim to "natural" sex, which would almost certainly lead to "natural" gender grasping me even more firmly. Then, of course, the guilt comes in; how is my struggle for identity, which requires resources far over and above sustenance and sustainability, justified? The amount of money I spend customizing myself isn't that large, to me, but that's on an American, middle class scale. This guilt is... not wholly new, but different. I've been slowly, cautiously reevaluating my position in the world, and that is extending to economics, where my money goes, and what is or is not equitable. The question that begs to be asked is, is my identity not only a product of privilege, but only possible from a privileged position, and if so, what does that mean?
I know part of the appeal for me is the promise of a fresh start in a magical/mysterious place of immense natural beauty, but then the implications of a lack of a certain level of technology, and what that would mean to/for me came to the surface. No hormones, no razors and I would fall victim to "natural" sex, which would almost certainly lead to "natural" gender grasping me even more firmly. Then, of course, the guilt comes in; how is my struggle for identity, which requires resources far over and above sustenance and sustainability, justified? The amount of money I spend customizing myself isn't that large, to me, but that's on an American, middle class scale. This guilt is... not wholly new, but different. I've been slowly, cautiously reevaluating my position in the world, and that is extending to economics, where my money goes, and what is or is not equitable. The question that begs to be asked is, is my identity not only a product of privilege, but only possible from a privileged position, and if so, what does that mean?