(no subject)

I've been trying really, really hard lately to focus on the good things, to try and bring my sense of the world with me wherever I go, and to some extent, it's working. I don't think it's simply my annual reaction to the lengthening of days, the warmer, more dynamic weather that just makes me smile, or feel a sense of happiness sometimes that almost threatens to overwhelm me when doing simple things like just driving (which is convenient, as I would otherwise resent the time in my car), but as of yet, I'm having difficulty bringing this into my interactions with people, or even into areas that seem bounded by potential human interaction. It's as though I can sense (or think I can) the base line denominator of understood or accepted, or even acceptable, communication with others, and that... flattens?.. things. I don't know how to alter the series of conventions that govern communication, meaning, intelligibility, and this really seems to be where I keep stumbling (on a good day) or smacking my head against a wall (most days). The horrible thing is that often times I feel like I can see the worthiness, value, goodness in people with whom I interact, but have no way of connecting to that, evoking even a sense of that, in my mediated interactions, and I have little faith that others can see anything similar in me, or if they can, that they will be any more successful in drawing it out of me in turm. My appreciation (love?) for people has grown, seemingly dramatically, but it's a force that builds, that has little outlet; I really don't want it to turn bitter and brackish because there's no flow.