grrr

I hate it when I keep getting cards about solitary burdens, the price of leadership and the like. I want to scream at them, "Tell me something I don't know!".

pretty is as pretty wants?

One of the tracks in my head today won't let go of the question of attraction, specifically my own. While I make no secret of having pretty wide ranging tastes (which continue to expand, I'm pleased to say), there's always a twinge of... something more than aesthetic or visceral response, something that seems like it might be in the neighborhood of envy or covetousness. The question I keep asking myself is, 'Do I only find attractive in others traits I wish I possessed myself?' The smarass retort I come back with is that, obviously, there are lots of traits I wouldn't mind having, but despite being clever, is it true? I'm not sure. I can't help wondering if this is one of the unspoken benefits of conventional* heterosexuality; there is an entire constructed class of (O)ther for whom it is safe to want, without all the mess of reflexivity. It's puzzling, and is apparently one of those questions I can't just put down and walk away from.

Anyone got anything on this one?




*as in 'terms and definitions agreed upon by convention', not as in 'standard'

Hey, you

Yeah, you. You've probably noticed I make excuses to be around you, seek you out, hopefully in ways that aren't annoying (though they might be mistaken for disinterest sometimes), and sometimes act like a doofus in your presence. Here's the key; it's 'cause I like you. Not for anything you can do for me, for any juice or cred I think you can give me. I don't want an adoring crowd, and I certainly don't want to be a part of one. I don't want anything you have, might have, or anything like that. If you're reading this, and wondering if it's about you, it likely is. I don't want any of the above, I just want you, for you.