dipping my toes into the water of hypochondria

Ever since my trip to the endocrinologist last month (due to nervousness, my bloodpressure was through the roof), I've been hyperaware of my pulse. It come to my attention usually in my throat, sometimes due to the speed of the pulsing, sometimes to the strength. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or not, but it makes me feel extra guilty about my relative inactive lifestyle, which then segues into frustration at why it feels like I can't work out. I know I tend to gain conditioning quickly, but I tend to lose it almost as quickly; my plateau level is less fit than I'd like it. It's probably a sign of stress and body anxiety that I can focus so easily on what could be wrong, what the worst cases could be. I eat very carefully, compared to most Americans, but now I'm obssessed with the fear of blood clots (thanks, Doc). I don't like this flavor of crazy.