because I'm bored at work

Favourite scent(s): water in air (in just about any form), jasmine at night, gowing things, brisk cold wind
Comfort Food(s): tomatos, cilantro, plaintains: peasant food
Candles: yes. I love the spectrum of candlelight, a lot.
Bubblebath: assuming it's in a tub large enough for me to lounge in comfortably, I'm in.
Ice Cream: I'm not the biggest ice cream fan in general, but when I do like it, I like it a lot. Add bananas and chocolate, and I'm fiendish.
Chocolate: Oh, my, yes. I love chocolate like I love the heart of my beloved: the darker, the better.
Candy: Not so much, no.
Coffee: Yes! I drink less than I used to, which means I get the zoomy fun as well as the taste and texture. I love the rich, winy varieties best.
Tea: Jasmine Green, Oolong.
Flowers: In the wild, very much a positive thing. Cut and inside, not so much.
Massage: If offered and accepted, definitely, with as wide a spectrum of intensity and depth as possible.
Snuggling: Again, if mutually amenable, oh hell yes, but I'm oddly prickly and touchy, so it's wise to ask rather than assume.
Phone Calls: While I hate the telephone, there are times that certain voices make a difference, even if mediated and flattened by technology. Don't expect me to stay on long, though.
e-cards/snail cards: I love the written word, particularly when it's customized and intended for me. If it's an actual physical artefact, it means a lot.
Welcome/unwelcome words: Bring your words, and I'll bring mine; we'll see how it shakes out.
Movies: current faves: Wings of Desire, Amateur, Velvet Goldmine
Music: current faves: Dresden Dolls (who doesn't love prettily packaged pathos?), Goldfrapp, White Stripes (about half the time). Perpetual faves: Julianna Hatfield, Portishead, Nina Simone, Edith Piaf

pointers for the interested

If I'm talking about my experience, don't tell me to "ignore it", or to "let it go". Even if well intended (which I'll get to), it's just about impossible to read that as anything other than either dismissal or condescension. It's not my fault you don't understand, and while I may choose to attempt to educate, you know what? It's not my fucking job.

But how well intended can a comment like that be? A lot of the time, it smacks of a complacent contentedness, an unwillingness to examine the issue at hand and one's own place in it, at best, and a casual replication of the establishment structures of alienation and othering, at worst. Sure, distancing yourself against me, or attempting to sympathize and then resolve the conflict by convincing yourself it's not really that big a deal may make yourself feel better, but it makes things worse for me.

I talk alot about privilege. I think everyone has it in some way, and everyone experiences the lack of it in other ways. But you know what? If you're stepping into a situation in which you are privileged in a way that I'm not, the last thing you should do is take on the role of the authority and tell me what I'm doing wrong. The first thing you should do is acknowledge your own privileged position, and then listen. It's not your fault if you're privileged, really, but how you respond to that is, totally. I'm not asking anything of anyone that I don't try to do myself, just as I hold myself responsible for failures and missteps.