pronouns

I have trouble deciding when in social relations to overtly state my pronoun preference. I keep thinking smart, attentive folk will pick up on what those closest to me use, and adapt, or if curious, ask, but I underestimate the power of blind convention (surprised me too). It's hard not to get frustrated at the clueless in the mix of the practicing in the know, hard for me not to take it personally, as though it's a stubborn act of will on the part of some. I think part of that is not wanting to have the conversation myself, of the dreaded burden of education and interrogation. It's a mess, and Emily Post didn't cover this kind of thing.