(no subject)

I haven't talked about trans stuff in a while, at least not directly. I think it's because it scares me, and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm very, very good with theory and structural analysis, describing the social forces in play, what led to here, what keeps things here, etc, but I really kind of suck at ground level, bottom up things. This desperately needs to change.

My insight provider tried to convince me that none of the likely future realities can be as bad as either what I imagine or the churning maelstrom they create in my head now. I'd like very much to believe that, but I'm short on faith, and the fear all seems valid and real to me. It'd be easy to dismiss her out of hand, since she took a flavor of a standard transsexual route, but I'm trying not to do that. It does seem like I need to keep in mind differences, though, and not blindly accept different experience moving through different filters and starting from different premises when testing them for applicability, but... something should be portable, right?

More to come when time and courage align.