(no subject)

I worry that too much is my fault, that things of a very different scale are my responsibility, that somehow, through some extraordinary action or superhuman influence, I can and should change things, and that if things do not change, if there is suffering and misery, it is my failure. I also worry that this is one way in which my insanity could start in earnest.


It does not escape me that I simultaneously feel overwhelmed and powerless in the face of so much, so often, but that is a feeling with which I am well acquainted. Even factoring in that known, there is something else at work that I do not understand.