(no subject)

Curiously, but not violently or painfully, discontent. It's not so much that I'm doing something wrong, but that something that needs to be done right maybe isn't being done at all. Now to figure out what that is.

(no subject)

It seems unavoidable; I'm going to have to make something new.

cards

Six full shuffles, then a one card/general thing:

The World, reversed

(certainly descriptive of my current and frequent state)

Asked a specific follow up based on recognition of things in the symbolism. Three full shuffles, one card again:

The World, upright.

It's hard not to miss the answer in that. I feel both relieved and sad, maybe bittersweet. It seems like there's a what, a goal or path, but I don't know how to start, or if I'm up to it. But, for the first time in a long, long time, it felt like meaningful and direct communication, complete with the weight of "you can ignore this, but you'll know you're turning your back on something true, something important that you need".

Probably related, I think the point on my forehead is the one that's made the biggest difference thus far. That kind of surprises me. There's been a slight soreness/ache on the right side of my spine. I have the suspicion/hope that it's something that healed badly long ago freshly damaged or strained so it can heal right this time.

(no subject)

I don't understand how I can go from feeling stronger and more integrated to smaller and weaker so quickly and profoundly. I don't like it, but the latter feels more real than the former at the moment.