(no subject)

I'm at a point where a lot of things I'm supposed to want have fallen away; I've either gotten them or realized I never wanted them in the first place. But what replaces them? That's a tough question to answer. Some of the things I want I suspect I'll never get to have, but I'm trying to face that more directly. It hurts. I still need things toward which to aspire, things to look forward to with more than a feeling of going through the motions. I have an aspirational gap that I desperately need to fill.