subcultural valences

I don't know how to enter into geek culture without coming in through the lens of presumed-guy. I can do academic/queer/slippery, and I can hit a flavor of goth-adrogynous-mixing, but other subcultures seem much less penetrable in ways I understand. It's confusing and disheartening, because a big part of my androgynous/slippery/queer heart and past are tied up with geek culture, but at the fringes.