(no subject)

I am so frustrated.
I'm so tired of being out of sync, both in frequency and amplitude.
I'm so tired of the constantly weighed weight of the gaze of others.
I'm so frustrated by the apparent social reality of zero sum games.
I'm so tired of having to assume the burdens of ignorance (particularly when I work so hard to educate myself).
I'm so frustrated with not being able to be mostly present with others unless exogenous chemicals are involved.
I'm so angry about the (Marxist) speed-up.
I'm so sick of the (personal) slow-down.
I'm so tired of fighting like hell to present some form of "normal", almost like my life and livelihood depend on it, because they basically do.
I'm so tired. And sad.