To follow up, if I may; what changed, if anything, between the time before you were married and after, in your introduction of Anne to people? Is context more readily available to others with "wife", even though many if not most of their assumptions around it are incorrect? Is there a point in which it is less communicative of your reality, but would still be utilized, and if so, why?

Is partaking of privilege detrimental to those who can't, in this case? Does refusing to do so help those who can't?

That sounds suspiciously like a pragmatic question, and as we both know, I'm no pragmatist. That being said, my answer is that if privilege and inequity are wrong (and I tend to believe that they are), then in partaking of it, I am partaking of wrongness.