(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

There is a specific shade of blue that you can only get in autumn: light, texturally thin, pale, clear and vibrantly deep, as similar to the thick, rich, heavy blues of summer as clear tea is to thick coffee. Laying on my back under the trees, staring past the leave and branches at the sun, there are moments in which everything is enough and good and happy, moments in which I am somewhere between content, welcomed, and at home in the world.

I never know how to do that when people are involved, to feel or share it in the presence of others. It's like my perspective moves to accomodate that of others, when what I want is to push mine out further. I think I need to learn how to project my world, to strengthen my reality such that it can sustain exposure to others. I'd very much like to be able to do that.