17

[adrienmundi]

There's a part of me that wants to dislike you, to find fault, to be able to handily dismiss you, but I can't. I'm not sure why it wants that. It's more than just a reaction to 'pretty', though I can taste the bitterness of envy in it. It probably has something to do with how you seem to always get to be you, to not have to make compromises, to expect the world to bend for you, and it does. But in spite of this desire, I can't cast you aside, and I won't. You've been very kind to me at very difficult times, but it's not simple gratitude. It's that you didn't have to, you could have easily demurred or given appropriately dismissive responses, but you chose not to. When given the chance, you do stretch and expand, maybe even grow. I hope you can see what it does, or looks like it does, for you when you do take these chances, because it's so much than just what you can or choose to do for others. Realize it's mutual and affirming, and that it's youness that people seek when the come to you, and maybe do that for yourself.