(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

I went to a suburban mall on my lunch, to buy work clothing for a business trip the end of this week; none of this makes me happy, on several levels. Walking through the bustling, kids out of school holiday feel of once-exuberant consumerism, I felt short and choppy, coarse and very, very out of place. People were mobile objects or obstacles, every movement of mine had too much energy behind it, despite being tightly controlled. I was never still, always in a hurry, a tight ball of jagged energy. In the gut, everyone knew I was undomesticated and foreign. Eating was mechanical, food chosen for nutrition and absorption; even the children avoided me. I wonder if this was a brief glimpse into sociopathology.