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adrienmundiI've changed a lot in the past year or two. Even when I want to minimize that, I can't. It's been hard, painful, at times brutal, and totally necessary. I'm nowhere near done yet, and some of the hardest parts are yet to come. I can say that now, and not run away from it. I'm still terrified, honestly, but I have to do these things or live in the shadow of my own cowardice.
I've been having difficulty finding satisfaction in my dealings with people lately. As fairyhead so cleverly pointed out, it could well be because of these changes. Not only might others no longer have a lens or series of expectations and behaviours through which to interact with me, but also that my own interfaces may no longer meet my needs. There's a part of me that want to say it's too much, all of this necessitated learning and retooling at once, but whining won't change things, and there's no one in a position to make it different for me if only I could whisper in the right ear. The fruits of change, at least in the short run, seem to be more work and more change.
I've been having difficulty finding satisfaction in my dealings with people lately. As fairyhead so cleverly pointed out, it could well be because of these changes. Not only might others no longer have a lens or series of expectations and behaviours through which to interact with me, but also that my own interfaces may no longer meet my needs. There's a part of me that want to say it's too much, all of this necessitated learning and retooling at once, but whining won't change things, and there's no one in a position to make it different for me if only I could whisper in the right ear. The fruits of change, at least in the short run, seem to be more work and more change.
