dreams of Janiene
Apr. 21st, 2022 05:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
adrienmundiI dreamed of Janiene four times in the last week, twice each on two separate nights.
The first was the night of Wednesday, 13 April. Twice in the same night she appeared in a dream initially about other things; both times I was delighted to see her. The feeling was that she'd been away for an extended period on business but was now back. It was Janiene in her prime. The first time I realized she was dead, and woke up sad. After getting back to sleep she appeared again, same sense of returning from an extended business trip. When I remembered she was dead this time, I walked behind her and wrapped myself around her from shoulder to hip, with the intent to protect her from... something. I woke up sad again.
The second night was Monday, 18 April. Strangely I don't remember the details of either dream much. The dreams were about something else, and suddenly she was there. Both dreams I remembered she wasn't supposed to be there and woke up sad, faster.
These didn't feel like a direct visitation, but honestly I've never had a dream visit from a dead person, so I don't know. I've had dream visits from cats, and they very much had a feeling of intentional connection from outside of me. The dreams of Janiene felt like regular dreams for which I was uncharacteristically aware. I'm not sure how to interpret them.
Perhaps relatedly, I asked one of the presences I feel as I'm slipping into sleep (this is a very regular thing for me; they're basically friends at this point), "Am I depressed?" I remember her response was quick, no nonsense, but not unkind: "Oh you're definitely depressed."
The first was the night of Wednesday, 13 April. Twice in the same night she appeared in a dream initially about other things; both times I was delighted to see her. The feeling was that she'd been away for an extended period on business but was now back. It was Janiene in her prime. The first time I realized she was dead, and woke up sad. After getting back to sleep she appeared again, same sense of returning from an extended business trip. When I remembered she was dead this time, I walked behind her and wrapped myself around her from shoulder to hip, with the intent to protect her from... something. I woke up sad again.
The second night was Monday, 18 April. Strangely I don't remember the details of either dream much. The dreams were about something else, and suddenly she was there. Both dreams I remembered she wasn't supposed to be there and woke up sad, faster.
These didn't feel like a direct visitation, but honestly I've never had a dream visit from a dead person, so I don't know. I've had dream visits from cats, and they very much had a feeling of intentional connection from outside of me. The dreams of Janiene felt like regular dreams for which I was uncharacteristically aware. I'm not sure how to interpret them.
Perhaps relatedly, I asked one of the presences I feel as I'm slipping into sleep (this is a very regular thing for me; they're basically friends at this point), "Am I depressed?" I remember her response was quick, no nonsense, but not unkind: "Oh you're definitely depressed."
