(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

Ugh. This feeling of "something wrong" continues; the past three days hasn't diminished it as it usually would. On the one hand, I'm grateful for that; I often think of myself as the frog in the pan of water, acclimating itself to perpetually higher and higher temperatures until it's too late. It feels like events are conspiring to make me uncomfortable enough to finally need to do something, but of course, the nature of that something remains out of my (firm) grasp.

I've got a potential lead on a new job that a friend was kind enough to toss my way. On the plus side, it would not entail dealing with the public, which is very, very appealing (it's getting harder and harder for me to engage in sufficient levels of pretense that make that work). On the down side, it's way crappier hours than what I already have, about 33 hours stretched over six days a week, all after hours. I know the responsible thing to do would be to call the hiring person and talk about it, but summoning forth the energy for what feels like certain disappointment is difficult, as well.

The doing of even usual things seems like it's getting harder; so much seems based on modes/habits/stances that are insufficient, at best, or self-undermining at worst.


Addendum:

Delerium was surprisingly good. They didn't do Duende, but still, much better overall than expected.

Comments

[thegoodwill.livejournal.com]

It is tough to spend energy on something you feel is doomed from the beginning. But it probably isn't that much energy, and maybe it is a good exercise?

[adrienmundi]

Yeah, so I did call them, and they are willing to talk about sharing the after hours aspect with another person, so it would be splitting up the days and nights. I'm going in to talk specifics with them next week.