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Speaking with the most beloved about issues underscored a curious point; I feel guilty for wanting to look like I want to look.
I don't think most people feel guilty for, say, wanting to lose weight/tone up, or for wanting a change in hair color/cut, for wearing colored contact lenses, etc. I suspect it's because my look desires cross "gender boundaries" (which are annoying social conventions, not biological imperatives to me) that the feeling of guilt (ie, inertia powered by the fear of it being "wrong", "superficial", etc that reinforces that which I hate). I hate that; I should be able to work past it, but guilt and fear do an amazing job of holding me in place.
I don't think most people feel guilty for, say, wanting to lose weight/tone up, or for wanting a change in hair color/cut, for wearing colored contact lenses, etc. I suspect it's because my look desires cross "gender boundaries" (which are annoying social conventions, not biological imperatives to me) that the feeling of guilt (ie, inertia powered by the fear of it being "wrong", "superficial", etc that reinforces that which I hate). I hate that; I should be able to work past it, but guilt and fear do an amazing job of holding me in place.
