No real topical cohesion

Why I Am a Bad Socialist

I really believe in the moral responsibilities of gevernment, specifically to make certain that a basic level of basic services and resources are available to all its citizens. I believe that capitalism, unchecked, is injurious to all save those who run corporations, and leads to a homogenization of culture and a reduction of voices. I sincerely believe all of this.

And yet... I pine for money. Not an obscene amount; I don't want houses in every cool location, or a different car for every day, etc. But, I do want money for what it can do for me, for how I can use it to actualize myself. Unfortunately, retrofitting the options I want isn't free, and in any socialist government other than one which I set up, probably wouldn't be covered by national healtcare* (unless I bowed down before the Benjamin accords, which ain't likely to happen).

The question that tends to piss me off more than anything

"So why do you want to change your body?"

This really makes me see red, usually because of the assumptions and tone of the question. No one asks people why they dye their hair, put on a certain pair of shoes, change their clothing style, get tattoos, etc., with the same tone and assumptions. So, for the record:

I'm doing this beceause I want to. I think I have a shot at coming closer to an aesthetic ideal that I find very pleasing; why the fuck wouldn't I try? It may not be "natural" (which I would strongly contest), but it's no less "natural" than someone who's been overweight for years deciding to work towards being thinner.

The Other Question

"Why don't you just be who you are?"

I have no idea what that, or any of its variants, is supposed to mean. Who I am now? Who I want to be? Who I might be ten years from now? I assume it references some essential self; based upon that assumption, I think it means, "Why not just dress/act/look like you want?" I usually respond less than well to that suggestion-in-the-form-of-a-question; it also seems chock full of judgement, that if I were just stronger/braver/whatever, I'd just do something, and my life would be fine.

Yeah, fine. I envision a very tightly bounded environment in which I can/could "be myself", outside of which I can/could expect very overt conflict with just about anyone, just about any of the time. Not for what I say or do, but for just how I might look. Say what you will about volitional differentiation, I still maintain that not being able to be clearly gendered carries much harsher penalties than piercings, tattoos, any flavor of cool hair or clothing. Worse yet are the penalties for being gendered, and manifesting things outside of the gender of assignation. I'd ask those who want to ask that question to really think about it first; it doesn't look always fun, but this is the inevitable direction in which I seem to be moving. I understand that everyone pays a price for being who they are, I really do, but how the hell did my tab get so damned big?

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*In spite of this, I still definitely think national healthcare should be a right of every citizen.