(no subject)

Sometimes I'll break from my usual patterns and drive with no music or radio at all. In a very industrial, consumerist sort of way, it will serve as a kind of moving meditation for me; the physical movement and sensation of speed (this works best when it's warm enough to drive with the windows down) jump starts movement in my mind. Today's epiphany hit me right at the juncture of 85 and 285.

I realized that, with my work with/on gnostica there is a lot new, and quite a lot that isn't. The new really excites me; it's nice to feel that there's an outlet for my creativity, and that my contributions are both solicited and appreciated. However, I realized that the not so new is that there are a new group of people, with a new group of assumptions with which I will likely have to deal. I don't want to have to repeat the gender issue struggle all over again, but I really don't see how it's avoidable; everything from language choice (both general and specific), to interpersonal dealings, to navigating expectations begins anew, and it makes me very sad. I don't want to have to go over this every time I come into contact with new people, but I don't see alternatives.

I'm not managing to convey the sadness, the feeling of inescapability and repitition ad infinitum with which this fills me, but it's there.

Creepy...

Lifted from MH:

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	feckless
Your haiku:	remember when i was just overwhelmingly sad not depressed
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Created by Grahame