(no subject)

I really hope the environment knows how much I appreciate it. I spent almost two hours yesterday with my rotary lawn mower working on catching up with the effects of two weeks of rain on my yard. About an hour into it, my beloved asked me if I still felt good about the push mower, to which I tiredly but enthusiastically replied, yes. I want to minimize my impact where I can, and this feels like a small way that's hopefully good for me as well as the world. Plus, it confuses and amuses my neighbors. (A fair amount of that satisfaction disappeared when I ended up paying the local redneck to cut my back yard, but I justify it by promising myself to stay more on top of things from here on out).

Driving in today, an hour later than previous weeks and back on my regular schedule, it makes a huge difference to step out and see the sun through the trees. While it's neat to see the sun low and red an hour earlier, I feel... a part of the day, when it's already up and warm and yellow. Things smell more alive, the air feels active and engaging, and the mist on the river is less dense, but rises higher due to the extra warming, becoming a soon to be dissipated fog that wholly obscures the water. Ah, yeah...

lunch

There's something about locality that seems important, potentially useful to me. I'm not sure of the what, just yet, but it's the trait, not the place, that I'm angling towards.


I want to unlearn speaking in the way I have been taught. I don't want hard edges, brittleness, and distance; I want close and soft and open. I keep getting tastes of something warm, golden-thick, but it doesn't stay, and I want it to.


I think I really need to hear some Dave Lowry songs.

(no subject)

I worry that maybe I am getting distracted, or at least tempted by distraction. I know that what matters to me most is people, my interactions and relationships with them. That they're tricky, sometimes painful and problematic doesn't make them less important, and it doesn't let me off any hooks.

Other really neat and amazing things are out there, but my relationships with them aren't anything like my relationships with people. There's a... a reciprococity, a synchronus harmonizing that just isn't as deep or rich. I love the world (particularly some aspects), and value it all immensely, but maybe I need to keep my focus more on what's most important to me.

well, shit...

Back on the earlier schedule tomorrow, because apparently two weeks isn't enough time to recover enough to work from a stupid sports related injury. I'm having a hard time being sympathetic, and it's made worse because even when the employee in question is at his full capacity, he's still only maybe half of one other worker.

At least I got to be a part of the day once this week...