dream trends

So, more with the emerging patterns of my dreams lately:

-public/semi-public spaces: hotels, dorms, houses that are hotels but aren't, campus

-bathrooms: usually shared but not public, issue of being able to find and use one (sometimes the shower, the sink, or the toilet; never consistently just one); impediments may be presence of others (but never anything as cut and dried as whether to use the MEN or WOMEN's)

-partially dressed: generally an issue of being shirtless, and worried about perception of others; typically from the perspective of being read as a "man" by others (and thus not supposed to have breasts), most recently of wondering if I'd have time to put my dress back on before people realized I wasn't a "woman"

-people I know: their presences don't make any sense in these contexts


I'm not at all used to having dreams that I wake from going, "Huh, wtf was that all about?" I've been spoiled by knowing my own symbolic systems pretty well, until the past few months, and now nothing just resonates all the way down to meaning.

Davey Jones' Provider

My cell phone died a watery death this weekend, so if any of you think I'm ignoring you, just this once I'm not. Hopefully, I'll have a replacement this evening.

(no subject)

Some days, for any number of reasons (some connected, some not), I wish I could just run off to the woods for an indefinite time, leaving people (the class) and all their associated crap behind. What makes this a bitter desire is that I know I can't; as much as my not-human friends care for me, they can't give me whatever it is I need from people.

God, how fucked up is it that my main man is the human race?

seventy six inches of reality

I am 6'4". This has consequences and implications.

I will never be able to blend in with a crowd.
I will never have protective camoflage.
I will almost always merit more than a glance.
I will always stand out.

Even though I hate the idea of mandatory passing, and hate the idea of others assuming things about me that are wrong, it would be nice sometimes to feel like I have the choice, or could partake of a social space to breathe every once in a while, to try to find a peace with knowing how what I want looks to others, and coming to hopefully accept some of it.

Instead, I'll always be the freak in the crowd.