(no subject)

The question I can't quite seem to ask is, 'What is being lost, and what is being gained?' There are so very many things that piss me off that touch upon any potential answer that I cannot get past: zero sum construction, convention, passing, to start. It's weighing on me daily, making me more irritable and frustrated with everyone around me, anger and/or tears never far away. I don't think I can live like this much longer, but am having trouble seeing a 'that' which looks superior. Call it a failure of imagination, I guess.