social weirdness on my part

So last night was a corporate sponsored "happy hour" for my team. At the last minute, the venue was moved from a restaraunt/bar across the street from my office to a sports bar about a mile away (yay, sports and sports fans). I figured I'd go, as a show of solidarity, and to maybe build a better bond with those who showed up, who turned out to be my boss and one coworker. We talked work a bit, which was interesting, as it felt like my opinion was actively solicited and appreciated, at least some of the time.

But, when talk turned away from work, I realized I really don't know how to connect with guys, particularly when said guys seem to be reaching for some common experience of "guyness". Interestingly, I didn't realize this consciously until a girl from another division showed up, and I felt an unmistakable relief.

It's not that we bonded on any "girlness", not at all. It felt more like... like I was assigned, or offered, a place of lateral movement often reserved for gay men, only not contingent on any perception of gayness on my part? I'm not sure how better to explain it.

Now, I can't help feeling that my inability to relate to guys, even in a small group, is a personal failing of some sort, while at the same time feeling a gut reaction of "yuck" at what looks like the shared experiential lexicon of "guyness" that I don't have.