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My meory starts with me being in basic training for the Air Force, only it wasn't on an Air Force base. The setting seemed more like a summer camp or national park lodge: very brown wooden structures, lots of hills and trees (like northern Alabama to Kentucky). It was a weird group of almost exclusively guys in training with me, but there were others there, not a part of the process, almost like a combination of people I knew but didn't feel connected to, and a chorus. I remember being worried that they (the Air Force people) would notice my physical differences; there was a lot of shirtless time among the recruits for some reason. I began to build up some confidence they wouldn't notice my breasts, until suddenly I was aware I was being sent home because they thought I was a girl pretending to be a guy, and that was somehow against the rules. Curiously, a big transsexual girl (who was a part of the recruits) was explaining to the chorus what gave me away, leaning back at a certain angle without a shirt.
Then things shifted to me and a couple of friends (not sure who) going to a large warehouse/club/living space associated with a local musician. It was a long, darkly lit space, almost like a hall; I remember a table in the center, almost like a picnic table, with something akin to candle light, and all the rest being dark. Almost everyone there was self-acknowledgedly lesbian save for me and maybe one or both of my friends. I remember being nervous about standing out, but that passed as it became apparent it didn't matter much to those present. For some reason, I thought acceptance had something to do with my hair. I had an orange notebook with me, with information and notes about, among other things, related musicians. At some point, one of my friends (my ex?) noticed a notebook that looked like mine; I flipped through it, and realized it belonged to one of the related musicians. I had a sense of the owner of the space being remotely present, but I didn't interact with her. As we left, I remember some confusion as to whether I had left with my notebook, or that of the other musician. Overcome with guilt at first, I was turning around to return it and apologize when I realized it was mine.
Then it was daytime, and I was on a strange college campus, with people who were moving into a dorm. Again, I was aware of being in the company of self-identified hip lesbians, and it struck me as odd, but no one excluded me. There was something about sleeping arrangements (again, I was sometimes with a friend or two, but not always); I fell asleep on someone's bed, but they were in another room, under a curtain with their girlfriend. I remember I was sleeping in a denim jacfket, and that when I woke up my hair looked really cool (again with the hair!). Then the people I knew went away, to class maybe, and I was walking along an oddly open hall where I could see space under rooms, open, and there were a lot of cats present, at least on in each space, as if they belonged to or were associated with the people in the rooms above. For some reason I was nervous about disturbing cats, and started to walk out, when a big older faded red and white cat came and shoves his head at me. At that point, I knew I wasn't disturbing them, and they all closed in on me for some petting and attention. It made me surprisingly happy, then I woke up.
Have at it, folks.
Then things shifted to me and a couple of friends (not sure who) going to a large warehouse/club/living space associated with a local musician. It was a long, darkly lit space, almost like a hall; I remember a table in the center, almost like a picnic table, with something akin to candle light, and all the rest being dark. Almost everyone there was self-acknowledgedly lesbian save for me and maybe one or both of my friends. I remember being nervous about standing out, but that passed as it became apparent it didn't matter much to those present. For some reason, I thought acceptance had something to do with my hair. I had an orange notebook with me, with information and notes about, among other things, related musicians. At some point, one of my friends (my ex?) noticed a notebook that looked like mine; I flipped through it, and realized it belonged to one of the related musicians. I had a sense of the owner of the space being remotely present, but I didn't interact with her. As we left, I remember some confusion as to whether I had left with my notebook, or that of the other musician. Overcome with guilt at first, I was turning around to return it and apologize when I realized it was mine.
Then it was daytime, and I was on a strange college campus, with people who were moving into a dorm. Again, I was aware of being in the company of self-identified hip lesbians, and it struck me as odd, but no one excluded me. There was something about sleeping arrangements (again, I was sometimes with a friend or two, but not always); I fell asleep on someone's bed, but they were in another room, under a curtain with their girlfriend. I remember I was sleeping in a denim jacfket, and that when I woke up my hair looked really cool (again with the hair!). Then the people I knew went away, to class maybe, and I was walking along an oddly open hall where I could see space under rooms, open, and there were a lot of cats present, at least on in each space, as if they belonged to or were associated with the people in the rooms above. For some reason I was nervous about disturbing cats, and started to walk out, when a big older faded red and white cat came and shoves his head at me. At that point, I knew I wasn't disturbing them, and they all closed in on me for some petting and attention. It made me surprisingly happy, then I woke up.
Have at it, folks.
