dreams

Weird dreams, the recurrent theme of which was being hunted/unwelcome on a larger social/cultural level, but being helpful on a closer, interpersonal level. In every iteration (I remember three) I was aware of danger (in the first and third, being hunted; in the second, being unwelcome), and yet still stopped to be helpful to individuals that were connected to the larger group that was after me (interestingly, in the first round, explaining the difference between my two guns (an automatic pistol and a machine pistol) to the person who took them off of me when I surrendered, rather than being attacked). Contexts: supernatural groups in conflict, with the ones after me/my group being more numerous, stronger, faster, better armed, maybe all werewolves*; social connection to someone I know of in waking life but don't particularly like, and access to their house (specifically, porch), which is/was a gathering place for interesting people; werewolves again, meatpacking warehouse, helping someone who knew me personally while trying to dodge search teams who thought I'd killed someone important (I don't think I did).

Not much of a surprise, thematically, but the specifics are odd and surprising...



*and yet, there were no vampires, especially not hot vampires, on my side.

41

More and more over time, it seems like the part of you that just is is gaining on the part that thinks it's weak, small and unworthy, the part that desperately tries to get affirmation from anyone. That's a good change to see, because I've seen the first part for years, and I'd like others to see more of it, too. You seem to view the world less as a place of scarcity than you used to, and maybe more like a place where not only can your needs be met, but where you can help others meet their needs, like you not so secretly want to, too, all at a pace comfortable to you. I think this is what a right kind of security and comfort might look like.