cooking

I need to remember that cooking is good for me, beyond just the needing to eat. I feel very continental today; stopped at the (farmer's) market on the way home, then cooked what I bought. My brain is very much in soux chef territory; there's a magic zone between preparation and finished product that makes me happiest.

Tonight: Italian lentil soup with garlic, onions and spicy turkey Italian sausage. Yum.

79

Few people believe me, but I don't think the gap between public self and "secret" self is really that big for most people. It's like there's a mental bungee cord that, if one or the other moves too far in a given direction, the tension is released and the other springs after. I wonder what this does for you sometimes. You may claim otherwise, but I think the intentional crafting of a public self is your truest art, and you do it amazingly well (I do not necessarily privilege the private over public, or vice versa). You seem to get what you want without the pitfall of shoving others aside or down, and you make it look easy. I wonder if it troubles you that few see the work you do, or if you prefer it that way, and I wonder as well what creates the tension in your cord. I like to imagine that your cord gets shorter, thicker and less elastic with time, and you become what you are all the time.