(no subject)

Despite being very clear in my supporting theory of gender and transness, I still flinch away from expressing much in the way of things-assigned-feminine. Some of this is (decades old) fear, some of this is perpetual cultural reinforcement of binary-only gender roles (you're soaking in it!), some of it is feeling unqualified, insufficiently trans, maybe.

Example: yesterday, my partner asked, "Why are you leaving underwear on your desk?", to which I responded, "It's a sports bra". Not "It's a bra"; the sports- prefix felt like a necessary deflection or protection. Sports bra has some connotation of... functionality, necessity, *not feminine*. As soon as I said it, I was aware of the distinction, and felt both weak and ashamed.