Montage

[adrienmundi]

I am tired of my brain working against itself, seemingly all the time. Brainstress seems to occur when the tension of part against part gets to be too much, and everything dissolves to a pre-chrono/linguistic state.

I really, really forget all too often how nice, how vital sun, grass, smell, the everything of outside is. In times of brainstress, it resets me, gives me a solid base that feels quite necessary.

I don't talk enough about how I value those I value, to those people. That should probably change. Yeah, if you read this, odds are quite good that this means you.

I tend to feel guilty sometimes at the fierce protectiveness I feel towards my friends, as though it is unrequested, unwanted, and misperceived as presumptive on my part. It doesn't go away, though, so I should probably find a way to come to terms with it.

My universal gift to everyone will be a mirror, I think. The intended application is not unkindly meant, though for some it will be taken that way, and I admit to an anticipation of a certain sense of satisfaction at the discomfort some will undoubtedly feel when taking that long, necessary look. Still, the intent is towards a more ... illuminating? kind of thing, not a cruel or mocking one.

Bah, accursed words.

Comments

[tobian.livejournal.com]

Bah, you`re just protective because you care. Those of us who are so lucky, and blessed enough to warrant such affection from you understand, and value the insight, the protectiveness, and the honesty that you give. I truly hope that you don`t ever think that it is unwanted, unrequited, or the like. Bluntly put, and I know others share this view, I love you, and respect you for all that you are.

[adrienmundi]

Well, thanks. I tend to suck (from lack of experience, probably) at expressing a lot of emotion, so it ends up feeling useless. Damn, I hate practicing anything.

[irana.livejournal.com]

expressing emotions is never useless, especially not to those you care about. those that you care about will understand all that and love you all the more for making the attempt.

[irana.livejournal.com]

That is a fabulous gift...the gift of self-knowledge. Thank you for the sentiment.

[thewonderfuller.livejournal.com]

personally, i think you are a creative genius. i think it would be wonderful to see myself, even for a moment, through your eyes. i might not like what i see, but i often don't where i'm concerned. a new perspective is always useful.

please add me to your friends list (tobian, you, too!!).