(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

I cry whenever I have more than a few moments alone with Boris. I know his time is limited, and knowing that puts deep cracks in my heart. He's been my best friend and constant companion for almost seven years, and I can't imagine life without him in it. I worry that I haven't been as good to him as I could have, should have, and want to make up for all past slights, oversights, and moments of selfishness. I worry that he doesn't know how much I love him, and that I won't be able to make that clear in the time remaining. I worry that I'm mourning him now, instead of cherishing every second. I wish desperately that I could do more for him, and have him know it's out of love, not guilt or obligation. I feel like it's bad of me to cry, now, and instead should be being warm and happy with him.

Comments

[theinnocence.livejournal.com]

you can cry AND be happy and warm, ya know

[k-navit.livejournal.com]

I bet so -- how could there NOT be warmth and love despite the tears? I wonder if we make some things mutually exclusive that maybe cats don't separate. I bet he can pick up the love between a few quiet tears :-) He'll feel it in your touch.

[adrienmundi]

He's a very sensitive kitty, and I don't want his propensity towards worry to be triggered by worrying about me being sad about him being sick, and interfering with my efforts to spoil him even more mightly; I want him to think it's because it's his due, not because he's sick (and the fuzzy little fucker is smart enough to make the distinction) ;)

[celticmoni.livejournal.com]

*hugs*