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[adrienmundi]

Saturday there will be twelve full hours of sunlight, even though the equinox isn't supposed to be until Monday. I plan to celebrate both days :)



There's a hole by the bench I sit on every day that I finally figured out was where some crazed, hyperactive dog insists on digging, just to dig. There are other, smaller hole, but this one in particular seems to hold canine interest. I'm not sure why, but the idea of random holes in a place I really enjoy and like bothers me. Increasingly over time, I've started kicking the dirt back into the hole. Tuesday, I started filling it with fallen sticks, and then kicking the dirt and leaves over it. I'm pleased with myself; I could see today that this addition has limited the damage the dog did overnight.



I think my sense of self is much too dependent on ideas, roles, histories and interactions forced upon me. I want to reconsider all of this, to melt away and reforge. I used to be afraid that if I began discarding things, I'd get to the bottom and find nothing there. I still don't believe in a soul, or a unitary personality, but I do note pragmatically that if there's something doing the work of evaluation and throwing away, it's definitely not nothing. I want to know who I am in relation to myself, and I'm not sure I do, yet.

Comments

[scoutfinch3237.livejournal.com]

Rusty digs holes in the ground to make a more comfortable seating arrangement for himself. I think he gets better back support with his hindquarters at a lower level.

[adrienmundi]

Unless it's a huge dog with a peculiarly shaped butt, this is a 'dig just to dig' hole.