(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

I have moved from hollow denial
through careful introspection,
painfully cataloging and discarding
the unnecessary and suspect.
Pared lean,
I begin to recognize myself.
Returning to human land,
I am less than before,
and more.
Rules, roles are cast aside,
leaving only a wild hunger,
and you,
and the certainty
that one can sustain the other.






edit: Changed "land of men" to "human land" in line seven. I'm still not sure it's right.

Comments

[scoutfinch3237.livejournal.com]

As long as you help clean up the house! ; )

[fairyhead.livejournal.com]

That's good. I like the wording better. 'Land of men' seems very jarring, though. Is that what you intend?

[adrienmundi]

I'm not sure; it seems to want to be there, and I'm not at all sure why. "Inhabited land" sounded too... flat? I'm still not sure if it's right.

[fairyhead.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying it's wrong or anything. I just cringed a bit, reading it, very much not expecting you to choose a phrase like 'land of men'.

But, you know, it could be a matter of the both of us finding a certain peace with that phrase ...

[adrienmundi]

There's something about the "not my place" of the phrase that sticks, but yeah, it is jarring for me. I'm not sure about it, still.