(no subject)

[adrienmundi]

Fuck if it's not lonely being a "something else". Many people of the line* seem to be "well, OK, you're not one of us; go be with them (the accepted other)", but you can only get bounced back and forth so long until you just want to walk away from both groups, only... there isn't really anywhere to go.



*binary-only gender folks

Comments

[srl.livejournal.com]

Kate Bornstein's answer to this would be "find where gender is, and go somewhere else." Which might or might not be helpful, but it's one opinion on how to cope.

[adrienmundi]

I guess part of the problem is that I'm having a damned hard time finding a place where gender isn't; fuck if that shit's not everywhere.

[k-navit.livejournal.com]

Remind me to tell you what She Who Shall Not Be Named said in class one time when we were talking about Jane Eyre. Ms. Feminist Critical Theory Prof boiled everything down to Softness vs. Hardness for us. I wanted to puke, from shock and bile.

I think what you said earlier about self-definition ties into what I think is the only livable way into shit like this -- one person at a time. I don't think Groups and Organizations are capable of operating outside of a calcifying system of classification, even if it's ostensibly only for political convenience, for ease of communication, for rallying.

Whatever, I'm not adding anything new or helpful here. I don't know what I can add.

[adrienmundi]

I think a big part of the problem is language, specifically language that tends to be totalizing, even when it's not intended. I spend a fair amount of time reading 3rd wave sex-pos and queer/trans stuff, and the language is always (95-99% of the time) phrased as "men" and "women". Sure, it may be statistically correct, but if that were the impetus, a lot of other people would be excluded, as well. Everyday language, everyday life, and even the language of those meant to be "on my side" (roughly) still has no room for me. When I am mentioned, it's generally as an afterthought, at which point I'm all, "Thanks, but fuck off."

A semi-related example? This: despite it's brilliance, despite tugging at issues that cut through me, it's not intended for me, or to be about me.