on work

[adrienmundi]

I'm always very interested in hearing about another's work, whatever it may be. I'm using the term here to indicate that to which they devote their energy, enthusiasm, and time, what gets that sparkle in their eye when it's opened up, what gets them wound up in a good way even to talk about. For some lucky people, this is their job/career, and I'm way happier for them than I am envious. For others, it's a calling, an outside interest, a hobby, an endless project, what have you. No matter what it is, I like hearing about it, because it's what makes people who they are, I think, or at least more who they are.

What I'm starting to realize, though, is that I don't know what my work is. There are things about which I obssess and/or can't ignore, but that's a more negative valence than what I'm after. Surely I've got work... don't I?

Comments

[grrlreloaded.livejournal.com]

I've felt the same way for sooooo long ... but I may have found mine in parkour. We'll see if my interest holds for longer than a month.

You'll find yours. I'm sure of it.

[adrienmundi]

Um, you do know how old I am, right? I'm getting *impatient* :)

[grrlreloaded.livejournal.com]

I know :) I sympathize.
But I bet there's an 80 year old out there that's feeling much worse about it than you are. That's probably no comfort.
This is coming straight out of my ass, but maybe you can learn to enjoy the freedom. It sucks not having a Thing, but think about how much freedom that allows you. Maybe not being possessed by an outside interest is preferable, and you've just been brainwashed like the rest of us.

[adrienmundi]

It's not that I want a thing, I want a thing or things through which to add my passion about life.

to clarify...

[grrlreloaded.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what I meant when I said "thing."

Re: to clarify...

[adrienmundi]

Ah, OK, gotcha.

[servingdonuts.livejournal.com]

"Surely I've got work... don't I?"

Surely. But you may have a hard time ever finding it... Both me and mine have gone looking for ours at least a couple times each. It changes, too, the sneaky bastard.

But the pursuit is well worth it.

[adrienmundi]

Noting that something may be sisyphean, even in the long run, generally isn't an impediment to me undertaking something, particularly if it feels like something I can't *not* do. It also won't stop me from bitching about it, obviously.

[adifferentriver.livejournal.com]

My best advice, based on my own situation: take those things about which you obsess and/or can't ignore and find some way to put your hands/heart/brain into doing something useful with those things. If what you try first doesn't leave you feeling passionate or fulfilled after a while, don't get discouraged... just think about what's missing, and try again.

YMMV, of course. :)

[adrienmundi]

It's good advice, but i'm not at all clear on how to do it.

[adifferentriver.livejournal.com]

Ok, not that I couldn't probably guess some of them, but what are the things about which you obsess and/or can't ignore?

[adrienmundi]

Differing perspectives, equity, social interaction/theory, the high level theoretical and the on the ground, in the moment experience, people, being in the world, not just out in the world, um.... for lack of a better term, invisible/other stuff, music, words, those I love.

[adifferentriver.livejournal.com]

Ok, other relevant questions...

What do you like to do?

What do you need? Like, for examples, the feeling you're helping other people, a creative outlet, etc?

[adrienmundi]

"Like" is tricky territory for me, but what I do know I like: music, reading, talking about/developing ideas, physical activity (all too little of that, lately), feeling connected, feeling like I can and do help, feeling like i'm actually communicating.

What I need, primarily, is to find a way to bring more of me into contact with the things I do and those with whom I come into contact.

[adifferentriver.livejournal.com]

Ta da! Your ideal work is... pastry chef!

Ok, maybe it's not that simple.

But, maybe you look at some of the things listed here and add them up to something you could actually go and do. Maybe equity + physical activity + feeling like you can and do help = building homes for the homeless. That's just an off the top of my head, overly simple example. But, you know, you go and try something like that, and maybe you love it and it's great. Or, maybe it sucks. Or maybe it leads you sideways into something you really want to do that you wouldn't have encountered otherwise.

It's trial and error, but it's a start, anyway. Or not. But, from here, it looks more likely to produce results than some other options.