Ah, timing

[adrienmundi]

Nothing quite like seeing a picture to remind you just what you actually look like; no amount of desire or self-deception can argue with photographic evidence. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck..........

Comments

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

"Mirrors would do well if they reflected a little more before they sent forth their images" --John Cocteau

Freedom comes with accepting what you already are, and then deciding what change works best.

Furthermore, your own eyes remain the worst critic, even with pictures. Reteach them.

[adrienmundi]

While I cannot doubt your intentions (good, just for the record), this certainly doesn't seem to help. I can't find any message other than, "Yep, that's how you look; deal with it"

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

Man, there go those reading comp skills!

I thought I spoke pretty plainly about how your own perception even colors photographs.

And I also adamantly reject the fatalism prescribed by 'deal with it.' However, the statement 'deal with it' always implied action to me: what are you gonna do about it?
Well?
You're not going to get instant metamorphosis.
Even if physical transformation is the goal, in the mean time, are you lost in a maze of despising the body which works well enough, provides warmth and attraction to and from others and is something that even if changed, will be the raw material for that change?

softener:

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

Any frustration sensed herein is because of how obvious it is to a number of us that we find you wonderful, as you are(not as in"A must remain as is now!" rather that the concept "you" is a necessarily changing thing, as any healthy "you" ought to be).

Those close to you find this quite apparent. What matters more - the perception of ink and lightwaves, or the reflection of active, changing minds around you?

(cf. Glas below this post)

Re: softener:

[adrienmundi]

I took it as such, but thanks for taking the time to make certain; I do appreciate it.

[adrienmundi]

I wish my neuroses responded to logic; if they did, I'd likely be way better off by now, but they'd also likely not be neuroses.

I'm generally pretty grateful that the body works as well as it does, but I have trouble using utilitarianism as a fundament for conveyance of meaning. It's not just about aesthetics; appearances are assumed to convey meaning, too (yeah, yeah, I know "it's what's on the inside that counts", but it feels like the line pretty people give to the less than pretty as a consolation prize), and my visage conveys nothing other that something radically different from what I want to convey.

What to do? Facial tattooing of text explanation might be the only way out; at least that way I get to choose the flavor of unnattractive.

[scottopic.livejournal.com]

I somehow doubt we'd react the same to you as an floating brain in a jar.

I can name three more people who strongly agree with these statements right now, just off the top of my head and very tired, and stompingly deny your self-assessment. I, for one, have nothing to gain by flattering you.

[martinhesselius.livejournal.com]

::Hugs::
You look like a wonderful soul, to me.

[casketgirl.livejournal.com]

*boot to the head*

a picture is worth a thousand words, but those words are very dynamic and change drastically based on viewer, mood and interpertation.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_amaranthe_/]

A, you possess so many wonderful qualities; both outward and inward. I tell you all the time how I covet those gorgeous long legs of yours and those incredibly long eyelashes.

But I also understand where you're head is with this; I do the exact same thing when I see photos of myself. Just when I get that little bit of self confidence, I'll see a photo and think "oh dear god... is THAT what I really look like?". I'm trying to 'get' that what I see and what others see is skewed by my own issues. This is probably no help at all, but perhaps knowing that you're not alone in having this issues might ease the frustration a bit.

[fairyhead.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what she said!!

1. I think you're hot and that's the second most important opinion (though *I* think it should be the most important one!)

2. I've had a total of 2 pictures taken of me that don't make me cringe. 99% of the time, when I see a photograph of myself, it hurts my heart. I don't know if it's that I'm not terribly photogenic or if my perceptions are that skewed (probably a combo of both), but I think you've got the same thing going on.

*smooch*

[thewonderfuller.livejournal.com]

on the anniversary of the blessing of the Earth through the arrival of fairyhead, you cannot deny that many great forces have converged to acknowledge your beauty, your insight, and your goodness. all you can do now is keep working on developing the good sense to listen to them.

your self-judgement is highly suspect -- but we've discussed this.

[cmpriest.livejournal.com]

eep!
should i have not posted that pic of you two?
i thought it was a great shot of you two together...but if you didn't like it, i apologize. and furthermore, i understand.

even though people are always telling me they're cute, i completely HATE candid shots of myself. big teeth. honkin' nose. no chin. always laughing/squinting stoopid (just see some of the shots from the party, should you not believe me). if i seem a little preoccupied with staged shots, this is why. *I* am in control of how they come out, and if they're ugly, i just chuck 'em and no one ever sees them. or...there's always photoshop!

but at any rate, i'm sorry all the same.

[adrienmundi]

No, no, it's not you or anything you've done; I'm neurotic and crazy, but sometimes I forget. And, it was a hell of a shot of the most beloved.

neurotic and crazy? i don't understand...

[cmpriest.livejournal.com]

re: the subject line -- ah, the inability of the typed word to convey sarcasm.
but at any rate, glas has yet more of you two, and i mean it--check the ones linked via hall_god if you wanna see some truly embarrassing shots of yours truly.

sometimes people accuse me of being vain, but i say vanity is only extroverted insecurity. for me, pictures like those are exactly why.

[subjective.livejournal.com]

no shocker here: i can strongly identify. hang in there.