Delayed, but still can't shut up
Jan. 28th, 2003 05:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
adrienmundiI think I need to work harder at telling important people that they're important, in the ways it occurs to me that they are. Usually I try so desperately to frame it in "better language", possibly out of fear at my ability to convey what I mean, possibly out of some weird feeling that it shows more respect to create unique meanings and combinations for each occasion. Or, as the most beloved would likely suggest, I could just be a big old sillyhead.
I'm struggling with power, specifically with the issue of how to recognize and claim power without being cast as an authority, someone to weild power over, someon to whom deference is offered. That, I think, is one of the biggest fears in regard to personal power. Too, I don't always feel that I can be trusted with it, that I may well be a (benign) despot in the making. I don't necessarily want to lead, but it just often ends up that way.
A memory that will stay with me forever: my tiny one singing to me, smiling that smile the whole time.
I think respectful abandon is damned attractive, if not downright sexy, and yet I feel like one of the most restrained people I know. Interesting, that.
I often joke that I have one superpower, namely the ability to pay attention, fill in the gaps, and generally piece together lots of insight/decent guesses about people. Of course, it doesn't work on everyone, but every superhero has issues like that. Today, I got to thinking about zero sum character construction (think Champions; you geeks know what I'm talking about), specifically the disadvantage that would balance the power. I decided I was Vulnerable to Expectations (Very Common, 14 or less) with the additional rider that, were I uncertain of expectations, I'd likely generate the least fun of the remotely likely, and apply that to myself as though it was real and accurate. Then, of course, I started thinking I'd need way better powers to off set that disadvantage. Who stole my power ring, damn it?
I'm struggling with power, specifically with the issue of how to recognize and claim power without being cast as an authority, someone to weild power over, someon to whom deference is offered. That, I think, is one of the biggest fears in regard to personal power. Too, I don't always feel that I can be trusted with it, that I may well be a (benign) despot in the making. I don't necessarily want to lead, but it just often ends up that way.
A memory that will stay with me forever: my tiny one singing to me, smiling that smile the whole time.
I think respectful abandon is damned attractive, if not downright sexy, and yet I feel like one of the most restrained people I know. Interesting, that.
I often joke that I have one superpower, namely the ability to pay attention, fill in the gaps, and generally piece together lots of insight/decent guesses about people. Of course, it doesn't work on everyone, but every superhero has issues like that. Today, I got to thinking about zero sum character construction (think Champions; you geeks know what I'm talking about), specifically the disadvantage that would balance the power. I decided I was Vulnerable to Expectations (Very Common, 14 or less) with the additional rider that, were I uncertain of expectations, I'd likely generate the least fun of the remotely likely, and apply that to myself as though it was real and accurate. Then, of course, I started thinking I'd need way better powers to off set that disadvantage. Who stole my power ring, damn it?
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Champions Rulezzzzz!
Date: 2003-01-28 03:47 pm (UTC)I would comment even further, but my head is really hurting me right
now. That will happen when I don't eat all day.
Get the chance to enjoy any of the toys yet?
Re: Champions Rulezzzzz!
Date: 2003-01-28 08:56 pm (UTC)Re: Champions Rulezzzzz!
Date: 2003-01-29 07:40 am (UTC)I understand about saving the comics. I'm not like that though. If it's something I've been waiting to read, I'll rip right into them. Hehe.
There will always be more treats. :)
Re: Champions Rulezzzzz!
Date: 2003-01-29 07:42 pm (UTC)Vulnerability to Expectactions: (Very Common, 2d6 Ego damage)
Hunted by my fears/neuroses: (Almost Always Show Up, Very Powerful Enemy)
Code of Honor: Hold Self to Impossible Standards
With all that, I figure I should have enough CPs to take on Ultron singlehanded.
Re: Champions Rulezzzzz!
Date: 2003-01-30 08:36 am (UTC)But now I think you owe it to yourself to list ALL your superpowers.
Let your ego loose! I bet you'll have some really good ones.
Ultron would still kick your butt dood. :P
And it would be Mechanon in the Champion's Universe, but who's counting? Only an uber geek
like me would know. ;)