adrienmundi

I'm getting hung up on money again, specifically that things it looks/feels like might help me feel more me cost money. I'm intentionally trying to trim, to scale back. I'm very uncomfortable with being cast as a consumer, having my citizenship or socio/civic identity be defined even in large part by what I buy or how I spend. I want my impact on the world to be less than it is, knowing it's already too large, unsustainably large if everyone lived like me. It's not guilt I feel, but a deep aching awareness of the sheer injustice. In the face of that, how can I justify superficialities, particularly expensive ones (that, yes, are socially proscribed yet still revered (by some) and widely available; while feminism may not be my home any longer, my feminist analysis is still fucking mighty)?

I feel like a broken record, but these are the kinds of thoughts that both keep me awake at nights and keep me frozen in a regressive stasis.