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Apr. 25th, 2006 04:27 pm(This originally came up in relation to my ongoing work with therapy, but I think it ranges farther than just that.)
Whenever I encountered problems, I used to always immediately go to the intellectual, the theoretical level. I was good there, better in some ways than many, and that made me feel a sterile form of safe. Though it was a useful perspective, I used it defensively more often than productively. This was definitely the case with my previous therapist. We'd spiral out into theory and referentiality, but none of it was useful, which is maybe the lesson I needed to learn there.
I don't think I do that any more, or at least, not with the same goals in mind. I am good at theoretical connective thinking; I think it's time to put that to use. I've caught myself thinking, "but what good is it?" more and more over time, and while I don't have answers, yet, to a lot of things I can't seem to help thinking about, I've also been working to gain direct, empirical knowledge, a low level practical perspective as well as the high level theoretical. I'm thinking a two pronged approach is not only possible, but necessary, at least for me, with each informing the other when and where needed. I don't have a lot of experience in this, but it seems as stupid to turn my back on my acquired skills and strength as it was to turn my back on my own experience and practice.
Now, if I could just find some way to rope impatience into productive duty.
Whenever I encountered problems, I used to always immediately go to the intellectual, the theoretical level. I was good there, better in some ways than many, and that made me feel a sterile form of safe. Though it was a useful perspective, I used it defensively more often than productively. This was definitely the case with my previous therapist. We'd spiral out into theory and referentiality, but none of it was useful, which is maybe the lesson I needed to learn there.
I don't think I do that any more, or at least, not with the same goals in mind. I am good at theoretical connective thinking; I think it's time to put that to use. I've caught myself thinking, "but what good is it?" more and more over time, and while I don't have answers, yet, to a lot of things I can't seem to help thinking about, I've also been working to gain direct, empirical knowledge, a low level practical perspective as well as the high level theoretical. I'm thinking a two pronged approach is not only possible, but necessary, at least for me, with each informing the other when and where needed. I don't have a lot of experience in this, but it seems as stupid to turn my back on my acquired skills and strength as it was to turn my back on my own experience and practice.
Now, if I could just find some way to rope impatience into productive duty.
